The Most Human: Reconciling with My Father, Leonard Nimoy by Adam Nimoy

 

Reviewed by Jeanne

While the title sounds a bit like a celebrity tell-all, this is no Mommy Dearest.  While Adam Nimoy does blame some of his problems on having a father who was an emotionally distant, hypercritical, and often absent alcoholic, the primary focus of the book is about how Adam faced up to his own addiction to pot.

He became addicted as a teenager but it wasn’t until he became an adult that Adam realized he needed to break his habit. Unhappily married with two young children, he enrolled in a program and began to try to put his life together. 

Getting sober didn’t immediately fix all his problems.  His marriage ended in divorce, and his children were angry and hurt, especially his daughter, Maddy.  His relationship with his father didn’t improve.  His mother suffers from depression and possibly hypochondria, visiting doctor after doctor in hopes of a terminal diagnosis.

That’s a lot of temptation to fall back into old habits, but Adam perseveres.  The reader learns a lot about the Twelve Steps and just what it means to make an amends. He also has the support he needs to realize what he needs to work on, including thinking twice before speaking, and to recognize that being an addict since his teens has stunted his emotional growth.  He’s very much a work in progress.

To his credit, he also refrains from celebrity name-dropping and downplays some of his entertainment connections.  He does reference his directing jobs and why those ceased (“It’s not the work, it’s the attitude”) while he was still using.

That’s not to say there are no personal aspects to the book. One important part is when Adam examines his father’s formative years as the child of Jewish immigrants who did not support Leonard’s acting ambitions either emotionally nor financially.  It does help him understand some things from his father’s perspective, even if Adam does have grievances of his own.

Mostly, it’s the story of a man trying to find his place in life and his search for someone to share it with.  It’s well told and interesting, though at times there is an emotional distance from the reader.  It does read more like AA Sharing in that he is only reporting his feelings and not anyone else’s with very few exceptions.   I liked learning about the recovery program, and hope to employ WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) in my own life because there are times I just need to shut up.

Like now.