Reviewed by Jeanne
While the title sounds a bit like a celebrity tell-all, this
is no Mommy Dearest. While Adam
Nimoy does blame some of his problems on having a father who was an emotionally
distant, hypercritical, and often absent alcoholic, the primary focus of the
book is about how Adam faced up to his own addiction to pot.
He became addicted as a teenager but it wasn’t until he became
an adult that Adam realized he needed to break his habit. Unhappily married
with two young children, he enrolled in a program and began to try to put his
life together.
Getting sober didn’t immediately fix all his problems. His marriage ended in divorce, and his
children were angry and hurt, especially his daughter, Maddy. His relationship with his father didn’t
improve. His mother suffers from
depression and possibly hypochondria, visiting doctor after doctor in hopes of
a terminal diagnosis.
That’s a lot of temptation to fall back into old habits, but
Adam perseveres. The reader learns a lot
about the Twelve Steps and just what it means to make an amends. He also has
the support he needs to realize what he needs to work on, including thinking
twice before speaking, and to recognize that being an addict since his teens
has stunted his emotional growth. He’s
very much a work in progress.
To his credit, he also refrains from celebrity name-dropping
and downplays some of his entertainment connections. He does reference his directing jobs and why
those ceased (“It’s not the work, it’s the attitude”) while he was still using.
That’s not to say there are no personal aspects to the book.
One important part is when Adam examines his father’s formative years as the
child of Jewish immigrants who did not support Leonard’s acting ambitions
either emotionally nor financially. It
does help him understand some things from his father’s perspective, even if
Adam does have grievances of his own.
Mostly, it’s the story of a man trying to find his place in
life and his search for someone to share it with. It’s well told and interesting, though at
times there is an emotional distance from the reader. It does read more like AA Sharing in that he
is only reporting his feelings and not anyone else’s with very few exceptions. I liked learning about the recovery program,
and hope to employ WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) in my own life because there are
times I just need to shut up.
Like now.
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