Don’t Sing at the Table: Life Lessons from My Grandmothers by Adriana Trigiani

 

Reviewed by Jeanne

Local favorite author Adriana Trigiani takes readers on a very personal tour of her Italian heritage as embodied by her grandmothers.  Although in some ways their lives and outlooks were different, these two strong Italian women helped mold their children and grandchildren in very specific ways.  Lucia Spada Bonicelli and Yolanda Perin Trigiana both immigrated to the United States from Italy, both married and raised children, and both were fiercely independent women. 

Yolanda, better known as Viola, was born in the United States, a first generation Italian- American. Her mother died young, and Viola took over running the household and caring for her four younger siblings. She started her working life as a machine operator in a clothing factory, became a forewoman at age sixteen, and after her marriage, became co-owner of a blouse factory.  She continued to work, even filling in at sewing when an extra pair of hands were needed. She was also a homemaker who loved packing lunches filled with delicious delicacies for her husband.

Lucia was born in Italy, but came to the United States with her father, Marco, when she was in her twenties.  The family was in desperate straits, and the plan was for the two of them to earn enough money for the family to buy a house.  They settled in New Jersey, but Marco soon left in favor of a better paying job while Lucia (now known as Lucy) worked as a sewing machine operator making children’s clothes for the sum of $2 per week. Plans to return to Italy were put on hold when she fell in love with her future husband, Carlos, who was a shoemaker. They moved to a small town in Minnesota where Carlos opened a shop. His sudden death at age 39 left Lucy to raise three children by selling shoes and by sewing.

These two remarkable women exerted strong influences not only on their children but on their grandchildren as well.  In this book, Trigiani sets out to explain how her grandmothers influenced her life and work. The examples they set as wives, mothers, and women have served her well, even if sometimes she doubted their wisdom.

Long time readers of Trigiani will also realize that some aspects of these two women have inspired some of her fictional characters.  It’s a nice “peek behind the scenes” look at two Italian families and how their heritage became a part of the American Dream.