Decoration Day in the Mountains by Alan Jabbour and Karen Singer Jabbour

 

An Appreciation by Jeanne

While listening to NPR yesterday, I heard a serviceman interviewed about Memorial Day, a day set aside to remember those who had died in service.  He spoke of the day as a time for reflection for veterans and explained why it isn't a celebration.  You can hear the piece or read the transcript here.

It reminded me that some years back I had reviewed a book about the way I remembered Memorial Day being observed, so I decided to re-run that review today, with some minor edits.

I recall when Memorial Day was May 30,  but in 1968 Congress made it one of the "Monday holidays," moving it to the last Monday in May.  It was originally a day to remember those who had died in military service, and many date the observance to the years following the Civil War. It was a state holiday, not a federal one, until 1967.

For years I assumed that everyone went to the family graveyard over Memorial Day weekend to decorate the graves of family and friends. Many families in the area would gather en masse to clean the cemetery and have dinner on the ground. Family members who lived out of the area were at least expected to send flowers; families who graves left unadorned after the holiday were the subject of gossip for neglecting family.  After all,  Memorial Day was the modern name; earlier it was called Decoration Day, referring to the flowers and tributes left graveside.  I remember my mother telling me that she and her siblings would spend hours making flowers from crepe paper.

Which brings me to the book Decoration Day in the Mountains by Alan Jabbour and Karen Singer Jabbour which discusses this very topic. Although the particular area they surveyed was in North Carolina, many of the things they discuss are customs similar to the ones I knew. They include Church Homecomings, grave inscriptions, and decorations. This book describes the history and culture surrounding the day, including photographs and interviews.  It's a fascinating look at a way of life which is fast disappearing along with the family graveyards. It's a lovely piece of nostalgia for those who remember, and a wonderful introduction to those who don't.

Family graveyards still exist, but as families move away from the traditional "homeplace" and descendants scatter more and more people are opting for perpetual care cemeteries. These cemeteries are owned by companies which will see to it that the graves are properly maintained, relieving family members of the burden. Along with this trend, I've been seeing fewer grave decorations when I make the trek back to my home county these past few years. More and more people in the area see Memorial Day more as the start to summer than a day to remember the past.

Additional note: many years ago, a co-worker shared an old document from a school district-- Michigan, I believe, but at any rate it was from one of the regions on the "Hillbilly Highway," where mountaineers traveled to find work.  One of the notes was that teachers were to expect pupil absences around the time of Memorial Day, because it was some sort of reunion time for those from the Appalachian region. My reaction was surprise that Memorial Day apparently was NOT so observed in the North.

Spoon River Elegies

Reviewed by Jeanne

I grew up in the country, where small family and community graveyards were the norm.  There were two near me, the larger and older of which featured the old granite headstones with carved lambs or photos of the deceased along with the simpler lichen-covered stones. We played there, trying to be respectful while petting the lambs and looking for teaberry leaves. I wondered about the people buried there, none of whom I had known: that section of land was pretty much filled by the time I came along.

In high school I discovered an answer of sorts in Edgar Lee Masters’ wonderful Spoon River Anthology.  The setting is a graveyard, where Masters has written a life- story for each of the headstones.  What sets these poems apart is that they are not the public obituaries but the innermost thoughts of the dead.  Many intertwine with others: Mrs. Williams, the milliner, is accused of having an affair with another woman’s husband, for instance, and of course there are spouses, parents, children, partners, friends, lovers, and rivals.  Part of the pleasure is reading one and then checking out anyone else mentioned. Sometimes there is a different view entirely, or—just as telling—the incident so important to one has no meaning for the other. 

Perhaps the best known of the poems is the one for Anne Rutledge, allegedly Abraham Lincoln’s first true love. In fact, when a new marker was placed on the burial site, Masters’ poem was engraved on the monument.

The poems evoke a wide range of emotions, from empathy to disgust, amusement to contemplation.  Several are chilling and there’s a good bit of irony thrown in. There’s the story of Chase Henry, the town drunk, who has more dignity in death than he ever had in life; from an arrogant judge who can’t understand why his greatness seems no longer acknowledged; from a woman who died in childbirth to a poet to the town marshal. 

My personal favorites have to be the ones from the Purkapiles.  Husband Roscoe ran away from home for a year, returning to a joyous welcome from his wife to whom he told a tale of pirates on Lake Michigan.  You have to read her poem for “the rest of the story.”  I find it as delightful now as I did then.

Mostly I have to say that I enjoy these poems for their accessibility.  People who think they don’t like poetry can relate to these because they give a glimpse into people’s lives, into their darkest secrets. However, I wouldn't suggest that you sit down and read the poems straight through; instead, just dip into them a few at a time.  I like to pick one at random, and then follow up on any people mentioned in connection with that person.

I highly recommend a visit with the residents of Spoon River.

Books in Brief: Decoration Day in the Mountains, Ain't No Grave

 Reviewed by Jeanne

For many years I assumed that everyone went to the family graveyard over Memorial Day weekend to decorate the graves of family and friends. Many families would gather en masse to clean the cemetery and have dinner on the ground. Family members who lived out of the area were at least expected to send flowers; families who graves left unadorned after the holiday were the subject of gossip. I remembered hearing too that Memorial Day was the modern name; earlier it was called Decoration Day and that flowers were homemade from crepe paper.

Family graveyards still exist, but as families move away from the traditional "homeplace" and descendants scatter more and more people are opting for perpetual care cemeteries. These cemeteries are owned by companies which will see to it that the graves are properly maintained, relieving family members of the burden. Along with this trend,   I've been seeing fewer grave decorations when I make the trek back to my home county these past few years. More and more people in the area see Memorial Day more as the start to summer than a day to remember the past.

Recently I heard a radio interview about a new book called Decoration Day in the Mountains by Alan Jabbour & Karen Singer Jabbour which discusses this very topic. Although the particular area they surveyed was in North Carolina, many of the things they discuss are customs similar to the ones I knew. They include Church Homecomings, grave inscriptions and decorations,  This book describes the history and culture surrounding the day, including photographs and interviews.  It's a fascinating look at a way of life which is fast disappearing along with the family graveyards. It's a lovely piece of nostalgia for those who remember, and a wonderful introduction to those who don't.